Cause and Effect : Why My Desire for Writing is Declining

       Recently, I started reading my old inspirational books about public speaking. This book is written by a great public speaker trainer once in his time, Dale Carnegie. Have you ever heard of The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking? Probably not. I'll tell you that this book is so precious. I know it because on the first page of the book there's a certificate embedded to it saying that the book is presented for my uncle for his participation in the Dale Carnegie Training. This training, I found out later on a class when the lecturer suddenly talked about it, is worth about 3 millions per session, for about 6 meetings. It's like, wow. I've got suuper special opportunity to borrow it from him, and since then this book has changed my life so much I feel like only thanks won't be enough.
 
       Dale wrote many books, like this book, and How to Win Friends and Influence People, and I've also made one writing about his book here, titled Overcoming Worries and Stress. There are many golds (things I thought to be shiny, golden, in the form of everyday life's lesson) that he wrote in some of his books, but the one common thing I liked most about his books was that he often took the essence of the topic before he go deep down to details. Although it doesn't necessarily means that the essence is the most important lesson. Like at his previous book I mentioned, the technical detail he gave is the one that became gold to me, which is the essence of overcoming worry is to take action and to stop letting those worries paralyze me from doing so. Because the longer it took for me to take action, the longer these worries follow me around, making me feeling very uneasy about life. 

       I loved his concept in public speaking. Because to me, what he talks about isn't just about public speaking, but to also other things. Speaking is just one way to express something, or to communicate. What makes him special is that his lesson also correlates with other ways of expressing things and communicating, like the things that I love, writing. This time, I I'll quote you a paragraph which resonates so much with what I've been feeling lately.
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The Art of Communicating : Delivering The Talk

Fourth : PUT YOUR HEART INTO YOUR SPEAKING

Sincerity and enthusiasm and high earnestness will help you, too. When a man is under the influence of his feelings, his real self comes to the surface. The bars are down. The heat of his emotions has burned all barriers away. He acts spontaneously. He talks spontaneously. He is natural. So, in the end, even this matter of delivery comes back to the thing which has already been emphasized repeatedly in these pages, namely, put your heart into your talks.

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These words has been my magic ever since I started writing. It's all written here. I write to cherish my emotions. But, this time I'm going to tell you something different.

Some weeks ago, a friend of mine asked me advice and comments about both his personality and his performance. I gave him the advice in exchange for the same thing for me, advice, and comments. He told me something that moved and reminded me of my old love, he said in the part advice to reach your potential :

Keep writing.

It startled me. I realized that it seems like I almost lost my love for writing. No, I don't. If you try to look for the real cause, it all comes down to my reason for writing, emotions. I like the ups and downs that comes with emotions. It makes me want to express and share my life with others.

But, you see. If I stopped writing, you may guess, that my emotion is shut down. Often, it's true. Have you ever heard of the Dementor? Devils in the Harry Potter Series which drain human's life force anytime anyone meet them. Making them feel total sorrow, despair, losing hopes, anything that makes you want to live. I, too, have Dementor. It sucks away my emotions, my vitality and making me feel hopeless, emotionless, pretty much all those bad things you might not want to have.

Anytime the Dementor comes, I'd lost my emotion, and I'd lost my desire to share my life, my emotions, through my writings. :(

The guards of Azkaban, they feed on human happiness and
can extract souls with their Dementor's Kiss

I hope you'd be so kind as to pray for me to have the real expecto patronum (the mantra that's used to make the Dementors run away) so that I can wash away the Dementor so that I can pursue my real love for this life. Aameen.

Notes : you know what? What's interesting is that in the expecto patronum mantra, each person has a unique manifestation of themselves coming out from their magic stick. Harry has a male deer. Others have different animals imago. So, maybe I'll also need to know what I really have, what is the overall manifestation of my life? Maybe that's the one thing that I should strive for.

image source :
https://images.pottermore.com/bxd3o8b291gf/2V4OKZhiiQYEKgm2somWO2/a97b1fd2bb8e4893073729753b222923/WB_F5_DementorsKissHP5-FX-00049.jpg?w=1200