Jam 24.01-24.59

Bila bisa ada ya, aku berharap aku bisa memiliki waktu itu.
24.01-24.59.

You know, lately I've been quite really busy. So busy that it's really hard for me to find a free time to write, just like now. Even right now, I was writing inside Masjid Salman, just finished my prayer, stealing a li'l free time to write. Time felt really got tensed up these days. Things just keep coming one after another. Free time has become such a utopian luxury. Why?

First, I applied for SSDK trainer some weeks ago, and there it goes, from this Monday till Thursday, I need to attend the TFT from 7.30 in the morning, till 15.30. It was quite tiring, even worse, I can't seem to reach anyone through my smart phone at those times. Coz at the room I was in, there was no internet signal for my SIM card. 

I was also a part of P3R(Panitia Persiapan Program Ramadhan) family(supposedly, by now it should've been becoming a li'l kind of family, but it hasn't, yet. Mostly we were still for the event, and the spiritual development wasn't that strong) and I'm one of some people who fought together to make P3R impactful and useful for everyone around us. Although lately it's been really hard for me to become optimistic since we have so many problems and I can't seem to help that much because I have errands to do for other things like SSDK. 

I was also a committee in LMD(Latihan Mujtahid Dakwah) 182 which is going to be held on 27-29 of May. 

And also, 2 days ago, I was in Dago Natural(?) School(Sekolah Alam Dago). I was the logistic team helping the other comitmitee who held the DP2Q #2. 
Overall, it make me quite exhausted, even for simple things like writing in this blog is quite hard.

But then,
Lately I've been wondering, if, maybe, peaceful times were never meant to really exist. I mean, when we're having all those big things to do, what are we hoping? Sitting down in front of our room, enjoying the luxury of just sitting down there while the sun washes our face, noticing the calm surroundings because everyone have gone to work, to school, while we're staying since it's already holiday for us, and just keep typing in front of our laptop? Well, actually that's what I'm doing right now, hehe. But, you know, these kind of times were such a luxury. It was not meant to exist, especially when I'm this busy. What I'm doing right now actually was sacrificing the time that I should've spent to do many other things, just so I can write.

You know, I just want to have some time, just some, to do things that I need to do. By things I mean digesting and processing all these information, every facts about the chores, the plans that I've abandoned. There were just so many things going on, and I can't seem to process them all. I need, really need, to sit down, and process everything that's happening with me, and around me. I got really confused when I heard the news, this men got killed, that women got raped, there's flood there, Indonesian rupiah currency droppred really low. And all those news. 

"HAH!", what can I do?

I felt like I was bombarded with all these problems while probably, they were thinking that knowing about all those problems might get me feel better. It doesn't, FYI. I need some time, to sit down, relax, and think.

Which is important and urgent to me, which is not?
I was wondering if maybe, I can ask for Him to give me an extra time, just an hour everyday, to do that. To sit down, process things, write it down, whether it may be in my blog or in my book or anywhere. To make it clear what's actually happening. Because I felt like I was inside a loop which I don't even know what's really happening in each loop. Just maybe, He can give me an extra time to do it, 24.01-24.59 in everyday. To make me things clear in every loop, in every routine that I do everyday.

Do'akan saya, ya, manteman,
Dan satu lagii, jangan lupa sudah makin dekat dengan Ramadhan, yuk persiapkan. Do'akan saya bisa segera membuat tulisan tentang persiapan Ramadhan hehe :D